Who holds the dagger?

With a family of 6, what should one do
If there love is no more. Off to someone new?
The rest left, high & dry, for just another fool..

A son that’s grown up, seen this quite too many times.
Another boy so hurt he turns around, becoming so blind.
With the 2 daughters left to question, on the search to find..

Some do not heal, still hurting inside
While others find refuge in the Lord of all kind
Though all where hurt from the betrayal and lies..

Many ask to whom should we blame, or say
Then he must suffer for his sins and pay.
But if you look you’ll see what the Lord would say..

Blessed (happy, fortunate) is he who has forgiveness of his wrongdoings continually exercised upon him, whose sin is covered.
Psalm 32: 1
He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
Proverbs 17: 9
For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6: 14

Unforgiveness is like a sword to the heart
But the hand holding the dagger is you.
You are only hurting yourself
For the other person may not even know
Or does not care, while you hold onto it
Holding yourself back from the people you love most
And the future and place in heaven
That God has for you…

Forming and Mending...

Humans... creatures... creations... what are they without love? Why, they would just be lifeless dirt blowing in the wind, viscous pointless beings roaming an unknown land, a stack of bricks and clay without a meaning, song, or beauty to complete them.

What are people without companionship from peers, family, or friends? Why theywould be nothing other than alone... No one to share experiences and emotions with; no one to look up to, view down on, or seek to impress.

So many times people go throughout life with hatred or the fear of rejection and commitment but we one honestly sits back and thinks to themselves, "What would this world be without love?" Well, the whole question is kind of ironic because without love there would be no world and life to wonder "what if". One could just not make it without these necessities.

Love is the center of everything living and all things ever to come into existence. Love was, is, and will be... forever to come.

People cannot live without love or companionship, for if it was not for love granting people with forgiveness and understanding there would be no companions left standing together. People themselves can (flat out) be plain stupid, insensitive, and selfish. If it were not up to love to mend the broken hearts of men and put all back together, everyone would be one lonely, hurting, jacked up man.

From the big moments like putting on ceremonies such as weddings and anniversaries, to little things such as putting together the lyrics to a song or connecting "soul mates" such a paintbrush and its paint to be one and make such a beauty out on paper. Without the inspiration from the ones one loves it is all pointless... lifeless... and not worth the struggles all have to go through to get to the places and accomplishments... the happiness ...that people are at today.

Teen Response.

As a teenager of 15 years, I know many people use stereotypes against us because of our age, having the mentality that we all are not serious, responsible, or reasonable. I know many adults who believe all youth are just young and naive, and are not worth listening to. Yes, I can see where the thought and stereotype comes from, I do have to admit. Plenty of young ladies and men can act quickly out of emotion and sparks of ideas, instead of thinking their thoughts and plans through beforehand. But, I am afraid that is not always the case. I know quite too many stories of times where a parent and child go through a sticky situation or problem where one of them has to take the blame, and it is not always the teens who make the mistakes.

A few months back my mom and I were watching my little cousins Enrique and Isabella for my Titi (Aunt) Marciana. My Titi had dropped them off at 8A.M. and would be back a little before dinner to pick them back up that day. My mom and I both looked after them throughout the day, taking turns when the other had to do something or needed a break. From 8 up to the time of 11 o'clock I had been watching the little ruggrats. I had then asked my mom if she could come down and watch them because I wanted to shower and clean up for the day. She agreed and went downstairs to take care of them for me. When watching the kids my mom had received an important phone call (while I was still in the bath). She went outside on the porch to hear and talk better because she could not hear in the noisy house, so she put on a movie for my cousins to occupy them for the time. She must have forgotten how curious and creative 3 and 5yr. olds are since she left the 2 kids not watched to roam a big house. My mom would only be on the phone for 10 minutes but a lot can happen in those few minutes; which did end up happening. Turns out Rique and Isa really wanted to color... so they decided to all over our hallway walls. Let’s just say my mom was not a "happy camper" when she came back inside to see the drawings. Enrique, Isabella and I got in trouble that night. Apparently, it was my fault for leaving the crayon box out on the dining table though my mom was the one to leave them untended.

There can be many arguments on who should take the blame for the artistry within our household at the time, and let me tell you there was. By the end of the dispute I believe it was known that most of the responsibility had to be taken by my mother for she was the one supposed to be watching them at the time; though no one was meaning for it to happen. When bad situations happen with a few people many times it can be difficult to settle on who takes the blame. The one way I truly see it fair to say who takes the responsibility is to give a little to all who were involved. Every situation is different, and everyone has made mistakes, but let it be known age should not distinguish who should then take responsibility. Responsibility is something we all must take at one point in life, so when the time comes, be ready to take and embrace it.

Project Paint! in time...

Some of the most difficult projects are the ones people love the most; I know for me this applies at least. A few years back I was working on this big project, a dance routine, for a school musical. My drama teacher had put me in charge so I knew it had to be perfect. The dance was supposed to be made for 8 individuals and it was just me, 1 girl, making it. I was honored to be assigned such a project but was quite nervous, too, for it was my first time making a dance to be performed with a group. I had about 2 weeks to complete this dance and around 1 month to teach it to the group, so I had to get started right away. My song choice was "Paint" by "The Paper Kites" and I was putting together a contemporary routine. When I first began putting it together I was so excited and was full of great ideas; it was when I had to envision 8 people doing 1 dance and at different times where it got difficult. Luckily in a little less than 2 weeks I finished the dance, and now it was time to teach it to the students. This out of it all had to be the most difficult task. Of course the guys and girls selected to do the dance could indeed dance, but getting all the dancers to listen, envision the dance how I did, then get them comfortable to do it was not the easiest duty to achieve. In the first few practices I was very patience and understanding that learning a whole routine will 7 others is not going to come right away to everyone. When it became later in the month and kids still did not understand main parts though, I started to get frustrated. Some kids would not stop talking, others just would not put the effort I needed them to into the routine. I had put so much effort and time making the dance, I felt like they did not appreciate it. I can say I can feel for many parents and teachers now. Teaching a group is not always easy but in this case it was definitely worth it. By the time the show came, the whole dance was down and perfected to the point. I am so proud of everyone who participated in the show and especially the ones who took the time to learn my dance with me. My teacher and the school was very impressed and wanted to see more routines by me in later years. Though projects of all sorts can have their blocks and bad times, if one puts the time, effort, patience, and creativity in it, it will end for the best!

To question; to discover...

 All throughout the ages people have explored the unknown. Some have done so by sailing the seas to discover new land and others do so by a plane or jet to test life on the different environments. No matter how they may have gotten to certain places, these explorers still have the same desire. They are all trying to discover something yet to be found. Their reasons may very. Many explorers in years past traveled to find undiscovered land or even just a greater understanding of the things in this world we live in. More people these days, like scientist or ecological people, travel out to discover new planets or answers to how plants and animals survive. Everyone has their own reasons and ways but throughout all the years this earth has been around something has drove people to go out and travel the world.

From my personal experiences and desires I can say a reason why people devote their life to exploration and discovery is because they want to see for themselves the different things this world has to offer. So many times people can go throughout everyday life seeing the same buildings, same streets, same people all around them. Finding and experiencing new things can be more pleasurable than one can imagine. In the close future I know I plan on traveling the world to dance and spread the Word of Jesus. So, I think when people find something that means a lot to them and get a deep desire to share it they devote theirs to do so. They use this time here on earth to discover as much as they can.

Traveling the world is not as easy as it seems. Though the ones of us that have the heart to adventure out do get the many thrills and discovers of being an explorer, they do have to give up many possessions to sacrifice because of it. Such things as, having a family of ones own is something a person looking to explore has to either give up or set back. Also, material items and possessions can not always be taken with one to varies countries or areas either because of the laws or harsh conditions. But, I do believe if one really wants to discover the exotic wild things of this world they will be willing to give those items up for the end prize. This world has been around for millions of years and still there are places people have yet to discover; why wait until you hear or see the crazy stories and adventures in the paper? If you think you can handle it, experience the world yourself!

The Truth Will Set You Free...

Tell the truth or cover with lies? This is a very opinionated question and the answer will always depend on the individual and the situation. I know everyone at some point in their life (excluding Jesus) has told, at-least, a "little white lie". The problems with those are, many times after telling the little white lie, one has to cover it with another and another lie. When that itself just creates an even bigger problem and hurts the ones in the situation around you. Though this may not always be the case, sometimes a person can get away with whatever they were trying to hide, telling the truth is the right action to make.

In a sticky situation such as, having to choose between lying and keeping a friend from trouble, or telling the truth and hurting a friend, one might take longer to make a decision on what to do. No one ever wants to hurt a good friend and possibly loose a friend(s) over a choice like this. Still I would choose to tell the truth, though. If one lies for the friend, though the situation might be covered at first, later you have to deal with guilt, a possibility that the truth will come out and that something like that might happen again. If one tells the truth from the start, though they may lose a friend or two, the true friends will forgive them and less complication and trouble will be caused. The truth will always set you free, no matter what kind of mess you are in.

The Academic Rollercoaster

Education is one important factor in life; without it we would not have known where this place we call earth is, how to get where we are today, or how to keep moving forward with our lives till tomorrow. Fortunately, education is here and I have a free right to have some. Starting from elementary to now, a sophomore in high school, I have been able to obtain education and I have learned plenty from it. During my high school experience I have encountered situations to test my faith, strength, and perseverance; through it all though, I am still here to fight though the everyday and academic struggles.

 During my schooling years I have come to realize my weaknesses and academic struggles. Ever since I was a young child, I have been more attracted to, say, dancing or playing outside rather than sitting down to read a book. Unfortunately, that has made school assignments and tests hard to achieve quickly now seeing as to in every high school class there is text to read and my mind slow to comprehend all the words since I never read on my own. All my struggles are based on my own lack of self-motivation. These examples go from procrastination to my straight up laziness and frustration. These are all problems many students face and are not impossible to fix. With a set schedule and setting of motive I can advance these problems to achievements in no time.

Though we all have weaknesses, we all have our strengths, too. Because of my love for the arts, such as acting, I have a relatively easy time memorizing and learning straight forward study sheets and work sheets. This benefits me when it is time for taking tests because I recall the majority what was on the study guide easily. Another achievement of mine would have to be my improving in confidence and motivation in myself to do well managing my grades. Because of this, I have brought my GPA up from last school years very nicely to now. This is part of the reason I had started to keep on myself for good homework habits and completion.    I also have a good attendance record, unless I have an appt. or I am ill, I will be at school. I do have my accomplishments in school, but there is always room for improving and setting higher goals for the next time. 

Most people have some type of goal, whether it be passing the semester or growing up to be a lawyer and having 5 children. My aspirations on the other hand tend to be a little closer in time and in depth. I have many short term goals in my personal life and some academic ones are improving in time management because so many times I find myself committed to multiple people or groups that I forget or stay up really late trying to finish my homework. Also, speaking up in class for me is a big one. So many times I let opportunities slip away in many ways that could have been something great that are not because I stay so quiet around people I do not know. I have a voice that needs to be heard, I cannot forget that. Lastly, test taking skills of mine need to improve. Because I am a slow reader tests and other timed assignments become a problem for me. I either do not complete them or do not fully understand them and rush doing a bad job on questions. Slowly but surely I will achieve my goals and aspirations so I can strive to reach new ones. 

No matter what a person’s challenges are around them, they cannot say those obstacles control or dictate their life. We all control what we will do, what we are capable of, and how far we will get. Sometimes I believe our society gives up before they can fail, refusing to see the blessings that come in return of the hard work done down the road. Academically I may not be the most confident or capable, but I know that with some effort I can do great things with it. One step at a time, improving every day, I can get to my highest most dared to dream, dreams.