Paint the worlds smile...

Dear Hippo/Girl/Sisto/Jojo/Gary/Wacho/Rach,

No matter how many hours, minuets, or worlds away we may be, we are inseparable in the heart. Since (almost literally) after I was popped out of mama you were right by my side. And, you have stayed there all along. Through the hard, head-aching, sorrowful times in our life, you have been there with open shoulders for me to cry on, as every once in a blue moon you wept on mine, too. We have always been such opposites yet "twinzies" at the same time! You being the strong, cold hearted (when it comes to love stories), school smart, more calm, wise, and collective kid. While "I", on the other hand, was that screaming baby the neighbors heard from across the street, so emotional, school hating, dancing, little sister that you had to deal with distracting you from your homework and/or chores. But, I think those are the things that make us the perfect sisters! You put me back on track when I am just too wild, and I bring a little more adventure in you when you are just too focused on what you are supposed to be doing. You know the words that I am going to say before I even think of them! You understand just by one look, or expression on my face, what I would say to you when we cannot say a word. One or two words is enough for us to burst out laughing about who knows what, no matter where the place or state of mind/emotion we are in. I do not think God can possibly bring me to find another person that will understand, help, love, and enjoy me and my stupidness as much as you do (as I love them the same for you). I do not think I tell you thanks enough. I have no idea where I would be if it was not for you. You keep me sane girl! (That is sane enough at least). You truly inspire me in so many ways. One of the ways is for me to be a good student, another is to stay focused and dedicated to God and his love for people, to be more patients and forgiving with all, and so much more. *Old classy singing voice*, "You are my inspiration... Raquel!" Look, I changed it up for you, darling. ...Wow, those 15 years flew by did they not? It felt like only yesterday all 6 of us were living at home playing football, baseball, the colored game, and all the other games we would make up in the backyard until the sun went down in the summer time. Now look at us all: mom and dad separated, now with their own new partners, Mateo has been out in Columbus for the longest on his own, now Jay moved away and married, you away at college, and me living here alone with ma. We are lucky if us all kids get together at the same time with mom or dad more than once or twice a year. Funny how life plays out, but it all happens for the best. We are blessed to be so close in relationship to one another; I love you all so, so dearly. You know I would do anything for you guys, as you would do the same for me. Even if we are far away from each other you will always be my best friend, sister. You do not worry about me, now. I have got enough worrying from everyone all my life. Just you keep being the little Gary you are today. So, even if I am not there to distract you, or make you burst into random unicorn laughter; even when I am not there to understand your jokes, discuss everything and anything (that always ends up going back to handsome men somehow) or for you to let out your anger and comments about people, you know exactly what I would say or anyways. I would do the most random, dumb things, I would jump on your bed in front of your homework and talk about how beautiful Thor is, I would agree and comment back on the stupid things you have to go through and try to make you happy again, and I would laugh along with you on the ridiculous things/people we see and probably take a pictures of them. So do not cry, you always knew how to be the stronger one anyways. Do not get down or lose hope in yourself or others, everyone makes mistakes, but it is because of forgiveness we are the happy people we are today. Continue your walk with God, even when you feel helpless and alone, he will provide your peace, joy, love and needs. (Joshua 1:9): Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you where ever you go. Proceed in you love and skill of art. Paint the mountains of Greenland, draw the rivers and seas. Travel from England to Africa to Asia and round to more again. Inspire people to be their best like you did for me. Use your gifts to benefit others and please yourself at the same time. Raise your children to be just as amazing and talented as you. Love your husband through not just "good" and "bad" but from hell and back. Laugh when you want to cry, and cry after laughing so much. Count your blessings; they are worth so much more then the curses. Never forget the memories, but do not let them stop you from all you can have in the future... You may not know all the answers, but that does not make you dumb, it makes you human. So, live your life as if nothing could stop you for a second. I know what you are capable of, and it is incredibly amazing. You do not understand the imprint you made in my heart, and continuously make in every one you meets heart. You are beautiful, prettier than any other I have seen because I have watched it grow from the inside out. I love you, and not any moment has gotten me to question if I do not. You are the best, my favorite sister of them all (and the fact that you are my only makes no difference so.. do not mention those silly things). You, Rachel Alicia Silva, have started painting the best picture, your life every step of the way. Do not stop now; do not stop until the master peace is finished. And, when it is, look back on it and smile because (like a smart shell named Marcel says) you smile because it is worth it. So keep on smiling Sisto... I wuvvvv youuuu. And always will. Forever and Always, I promise, I will... <3
~Bean/Best Little Sister in the World

Heros without Tights...

       

There are billions of people on this planet. Billions of people have pasted and billion are to come. Each and every one of us make an impact in the world whether one knows it or not. Not just one person has impacted me, but instead I have learned from or desire something in a little bit of everyone. The 5 main people that have helped shape, shift, or make me to be the young lady I am today are my brothers, sister, and parents. I am thankful for their presence in my life every day, no matter how much of a distance away we might be from each other at times.

I treasure family so much. For I have grown up in a puertorican household, I have more family members then I can count. Although, I may not know them all or be super close in a relationship with them I know that they love and care for me as I do right back for them. I have to say the ones that have made and continue to make a huge impact on my life would be my core family. Like my siblings for example, my oldest brother Mateo, has always been my protector. I have always known that if anyone tried to hurt me he would be there to "fix the problem" even when not asked to. I know the events he has gone through has made him one strong cookie, but never once have I had to question his love for me, he would do anything for "his baby girl." Jeremy, the 2nd oldest, on the other hand is such a goof. He has always been so silly, easy going, loving, and a great helper. Jere (Spanish nickname that sounds like: hed-eh) is my teddy bear. He looks big but really he has a heart of a sweet 5-year old boy; does not always say much but has such sincere love and care always. Now my sister, Rachel, will probably always be the one I look up to the most. She is my best friend, councilor, shoulders, and role model. We are only 3 years apart so though the best and worst roads in life she was and still is here for me lean on when hurt, lost, confused, bored, happy, or plain crazy! I look up to her because it seems she always does things the right way when I was not always as fortunate in the choices I made. She is beautiful from the inside out and I hope that I can be all the help as she is to me. 

My siblings are absolutely wonderful and we are all very close to one another. Many people wonder how in the world we manage to be so peaceful and loving to each other. I say it just goes to show how much we really need each other; our parents did a great job showing us that. Parents are one of the most impacting people in a child's lifetime. Whether it for the good or bad, they will have a huge part on the outpouring of the kids life. My parents definitely are the reason I am the way I am in many ways. Though every moment for us may not have worked out the best, I know I love them dearly and am thankful for the positive things they have passed down to me in their parenting. My dad has not always made the best choices and has not always necessarily been here in my life but, I know now that he loves me incredibly and would do anything to make sure I was well and happy now. My dad is such a giver. He will put someone else before himself in an instant to have that person pleased without saying a word or expecting something in return. Now he is here for me and my siblings and will stop at nothing to give us what we need, even if it is just some time, laughter, love and support. Mother, oh Mother, she is one special little lady. Raising 4 wild children can be a heck of some work but she has not and will never give up on us. She has gone through a mess after a mess all her life, yet she still finds room to thank God for all the wonderful things He has blessed her with. Like she says, even if she had to go throughout all the hurts and mistakes just for 4 reasons she would....  for us, her 4 kids, her 4 blessings. She is the strongest women I know, taking a job made for 2 and making the most of it. She knows how to run a household keeping it clean and in tack, that is for sure. I cannot thank her enough for the sacrifices she has made for us and continues to make. There is no denying that I love my family, my heroes.

      Heroes are not perfect; they are just leaders choosing to make the right choices that at times are scary to take. So thank you, I love you, and I will... Forever and Always...<3

I will find my way to Barcelona...

       

Out of all the places my feet can walk through, or my ears can be filled with the daily sounds or nose smelling lovely aromas, I wish it could be in the big beautiful city of Barcelona, Spain. Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamt of going to Spain (and all my family can agree that this is fact). I even have a piggy bank, named Chochina, saving up for my trip I will take one day. So, if the opportunity came for me to live anywhere I wanted to I would have to choose Barcelona for sure! I do not think I would want to live there all of my life, but it would definitely be a good chunk of it there. To me, Spain just seems simply irresistible so, I will just have to check it out for myself one day.

            My favorite types of locations to be at are beaches. My favorite types of cities to see are kinds that look old fashion/historic yet, still well polished up. My nationality and culture (which I love dearly) is Hispanic. So, I think this put together pretty much tells me Barcelona, Spain is absolutely perfect for me. The beauty of this city is simply breath taking, and it would be such a dream come true to wake up to it every day. I would not want to live there only for the beauty, fun lively activities both days and nights, sites to see, romantic and relaxing getaways, and conveniently close beaches but also, the ability to become one with another culture! I can just imagine me becoming more fluent in Spanish, learning their dance styles and me teaching them mine, and participating in their traditions. It would all be so unique; it would all be so amazing. I just cannot wait for the day to come, for I know one day soon enough it will. I will be walking along the beach side, thinking of what a dream it is to me. Maybe then I will be escorted by a lovely male and be able to look into his eyes, thinking of how perfect it all turned out, or even if it is just me, I will enjoy every single moment of it I tell you. Because, every single moment I walk down that shore line I will think of memories such as these, me dreaming.

Dreams come in many forms: big to small, in the day or night, metaphorically or literally... but every dream has a breaking point. That happens at the time the dream comes true, and one day mine will just tear at the seams. I will find my way to Barcelona... <3

The Pursuit of Happiness

 

 

 

 

          "The pursuit of happiness" project was a very special one personally to me. I can say it definitely opened my eyes to many things I did not realize before. When I explained to the people that participated in my video what the question was I could tell they thought about it a lot, and gave an answer straight from the heart. I think it is a truely beautiful experience hearing what wonderful activites everyone would do to help our society and the others all other the world. I do not think that people should let money be in the way of doing those wonderful things that they would love to do. If everyone would just be so kind to care about everyone this world would be so much more of a better place, and I would hope one day I can be on this earth to experience such pleasure throughout us all. People love to be blessed, so why not bless others first without expecting to be rewarded in return. The reward in the heart is so much greater than any object, or possesion can bring you.

 

 

More than just words...

         Being asked a question such as, "What is your favorite book?" does not appeal to me one bit. Sorry to say that to all the parents, teachers, and book lovers out there but books are just not something that catches my fancy ... or even remotely tickles it. My first reaction to being told to read a book is "Ugh!!" or "Come on! You act like we are in school or something?! Oh, that is right..." it may be sad I know, trust me, I have heard the lectures all my life. I do not understand why I do not enjoy reading because I love to write blogs, stories, open idea writing assignments, and journals (diary's) but it is when it comes to words pre-printed on pieces of paper that I am so unappealed to. I have tried to enjoy them, and at least tried not to mind them too much when I am forced to read them. Every time I find myself drifting off with-in the 1st page or paragraph though, thinking of what I would write if it was my story, or having the little movies in my mind of all types of wild thoughts. Other times I really do just unknowingly drift off into a great world of nothingness, which is never frustrating for me because I do not know what is going on around me even when I try my hardest to focus. I can say that through the years growing up I have found 1 book to read that no one has to force me into (so I really do not consider it a book because it is so much better than one). The name of this lovely item that has literally shifted and switched my views and character for the best is called The Bible.
          This book full of true stories, fables, and teachings has been written 100s to 1000s of years ago by more authors then I can name of the top of my head! But, if there is one thing I know for sure it is that it was all inspired my 1 man. He carry's the Mighty name of God, and is the greatest author of all time. The reason He and his writings are so dear to me (besides the fact that he created, shaped, saved, revived, forgave, poured into light & pour, plus life into me) is the fact that He makes the words on the paper so much more than grammar and climaxes. Instead it is stories on top of stories created to inspire, transform, and guide all throughout the best, biggest, and toughest times in life. Being able to learn new beautiful sides of Him every time one digs inside the word is truly breath taking, and is beyond comparison to any other story one can tell. The Bible is so very precious to me because it is just one more connection I have to God, the one man I can never get enough of. I enjoy so much to learn more and more who the man that has created all I know is. A man to love me on my worst and best days, even when I did not know or love Him. The Bible teaches such great lessons, even on my worst days I can look into the Word and find myself reminded of all the wonderful things there is to smile about instead of crying on the 1 thing that has let me down. I remember that though my mind may not be able to comprehend everything going on around me that I can still lay down my worries at the cross, look to the Lord, and know I will be okay, that it is in good hands. 
          The Bible is a complex work of art, made by the most complex work of art out there; it is more than just words... scribbles on paper. Instead, it is life breathed in by the ones opening it up, ready to have the faith to take the journey inside of it.

Money is No Limit

Imagine if money was no object, and everyone could do anything they truly wanted to do with their life, how beautiful that sure would be. In the poem "After Apple-Picking" by Robert Frost, this author writes out a story of a man living his whole life doing what he loves, apple picking, and appreciating every moment of it. If only all could be so lucky to choose a passion of their own to pursue their whole life. The way Frost conveys this message of living by doing what you love the most is with the use of imagery captivating you throughout the poem.

When one loves something so much they continue to practice and grow in what they do, they start becoming a master at it; what a great reason to move toward pursuing what one loves for their life. Just like talking to anyone that is passionate for what they do, Frost is very expressive throughout the poem, making you feel as you can see and touch the apples he claims to love so much. In the poem Frost states, "Magnified apples appear and disappear/ Stem end and blossom end/ And every fleck of russet showing clear" (l. 18-20). With his words of great detail, Frost shows to the readers how the speaker sees the apples, representing ones dream/passion, in such a distinct way, proving the great value he puts in what he does. This reminds us to go toward what we love and cherish every moment of it.

Everyone enjoys doing something, but it is when one believes in one’s self that they can accomplish big things with it that dreams come true. So many people’s treasures can grow into things we all use or do in all our everyday lives, and they enjoy every moment of it, and in this poem Frost sure shows that in the speaker through his writing. Frost says, "There were ten thousand fruit to touch/ Cherish in hand, lift down, and not let fall" (l. 30-31). This shows how much the speaker treasures his apples/his job, really emphasizing on how special it makes him feel, speaking as if in the shoes of someone who loves there job, making sure their job was accomplished to the fullest because of their care for it.

Through the big use of imagery Frost conveys such an inspirational message to all readers to follow their dreams and enjoy every moment of it. It is very important to learn this message from Frost because without learning this people can get stuck in a system of doing things they do not want to for money instead of doing what you love, taking a chance to accomplish it. If money was no object for me I would choose to become a full time missionary/dancer, spreading the word in many nations through the arts, which I plan on pursuing. I plan on doing this because my deepest loves are for God, dance, and people, as well as my love to travel makes this is a perfect fit. Many people may think this is impossible or insensible for me but I know for a fact I can do it, and I know for a fact I will.

Si Sola Mente; If Only...

          From past generations on and on my family has descended from Puerto Rico. From what I know, my greatest grandparents down to both of my own grandparents on both sides of my family were raised and lived in Puerto Rico. All my family, up to my own parents, are fluent in speaking Spanish... except for my generation. If I could change one thing in my life that has previously happened it would be: that I would have been taught to speak fluent Spanish. It was never exactly in the power of my hands to decide to be taught Spanish (which I can not understand WHY I was not) but, if I had the opportunity to go back and tell my mama to teach me when I was young I would!
          The reasons I wish I could change the fact that I was not taught Spanish so that I could have been is because it would erase all the "funny" jokes and teases of me "not really being Puertorican" and other rued comments I rather not state, which happen to be some of my biggest pet peeves. But more importantly, it would have saved me from a lot of embarrassing moments, and would have let me gain relationships that now I can never have... 
          Because of my inability to communicate (at all or well) with my grandparents has taken away the chances of having a good relationship together because all they know is Spanish, and now, I have completely lost the opportunity for three out of my four grandparents because two have passed away in these last four or five years and just this Wed. October 17, 2012 I found out my abuelo will be passing away any day now too...</3...
          I know for a fact that if I knew fluent Spanish it would have radically changed and would still be changing my life, my family/friends lives around me now, and possibly different nations if I would do something in the future with it. I know I can learn Spanish now, which I am taking the classes, but it is just not the same. I find myself sitting back and thinking how much easier it could have been if my parents would have just taught me. And, how different I would be, different I would feel because of it... It may sound silly, and not that big of a deal to many but for me it would mean so much. I love all my abuelas and abuelos and would have killed to be able to have talked and grew in relationship with them while I had a chance. I know it was not intentional by my parents for it to be this way, and for me to feel like I do; I know I could have tried harder to understand and still communicate but it is true you do not realized what you got until it is gone. It really does suck, I wish I could have done so many things differently but there is nothing I can do about it now, we can not change the past... and I think that is what hurts the most. 
They say time flies by so fast, but it is not the good experiences that are gone that make you sad, but realizing what time has passed and all you have not experienced that really gets you...
 R.I.P. ~ mi familia~  te amo mucho.<3